Each player is dealt 5 cards to begin with.  One deck is suitable for up to 4 players.  An additional deck should be added for each additional 4 players.
The deck is placed face down and the top card is turned over and placed face up alongside deck (See illustration).  Players cut the deck * for high card (highest=joker, 2nd=ace, 3rd=king, etc.)
The player who draws the highest card shall then decide who goes first and play shall continue in either clockwise or counterclockwise direction.  The person who goes first shall decide the direction of play.
On one's turn, a player may play acsending, decsending, or equal to the card value. Example: If a 10 is in play, the player may put down J,Q,K,A...... OR 9,8,7,6... OR 10,10.... You may only go in one direction per turn, and may not switch directions in the middle of a turn.
At the end of a turn, if a player has put down cards, s/he must tap on the playing surface to indicate that the turn is completed. If a player is unable to play any cards, s/he must take 2 cards from the deck, and need not tap. If a player is able to play but does not wish to, s/he must play at least 1 of the playable cards.  People who are musically inclined may tap multiple times, in rhythm at the end of their turn. If, however, the person does not keep good rhythm while tapping multiple times, all other players may tap as hard as they like on the rythmically challenged person's forehead.
The usage of jokers is dissimilar to most card games.  Jokers can be played optionally between kings and queens.  This is because the value of 10 would be 10, Jack=11, Queen=12, and Joker= the infamous 13th floor, at which some elevators stop and some do not.  Therefore you may play JQKA  AKQJ  JQjokKA  AKjokQJ etc.
If every player was not able to play any card, the intital player who drew must yell, "Stop!", and then proceed to turn the face up cards face down and re-distribute the played cards in a specified manner, similar to cutting the deck. (visual coming soon)  To cut the deck: Take the part of the deck currently in play, and put it aside.  Cut the draw deck into two piles.  Put the deck in play face down on top of the part of the draw deck that was on the top.  Then put the part of the draw deck that was on the bottom on top of the rest of the deck.  Flip over the top card as seen in Rule 2 and resume play.
If a player plays 5 cards consectutively in one turn, all other players must draw 1 card. If a player plays 5 cards of the same suit consecutively in one turn, all other players must draw 2 cards. If a player plays 13 cards of the same suit consecutively in one turn, this player must get a life.
If one or more players play cards, in a row, from Ace to King without fluctuating, the player may call "Penthouse" in which all other players must draw 2 cards. Ex: "player A plays: A,2,3,4. B plays 5,6,7. C plays 8,9,10,J. A plays Q,K. A calls penthouse and B and C must draw 2 cards." Reverse the operation to call "Basement" with the same rules. If a Joker was played within the basement or penthouse run, the player may call "Super Penthouse" or "Super Basement." In that case, the other players must draw 5 cards instead of 2.
Any player who knocks another player unconscious shall be assessed a 10CP.  However, for each hour that the unconscious player holds up the game, he shall be assessed a 2CP.  If he is unconscious for 12 hours, he shall be declared winner of the game.
If a player says more than 3 consecutive "Ooh"s or "Oh"s, another player may call "Monkey."  At this point, the Ooher must eat a banana in 30 second or less.  If he fails to do so, he must take a 2CP.  If no banana is available or other circumstances arise, he shall simply take a 2CP.
All players must chip in for the cost of the penalty banana ( 11 ), unless one volunteers to donate it.
If a player calls "Uno" when he has one card left, another player may call "Cinco" in which case the first player takes a 4CP, so that he ends up with 5 cards.
All commands and phrases may be spoken in English, German, French, Spanish, Hebrew, Pig Latin, Sign Language, or Ebonics.  Any other language spoken will result in a 2CP per offense.  Adding another language requires clearance by both of the game's creators .
Failure to correctly cut the cards during a " Stop " will result in a 2CP.
If a player Stop s the elevator twice in a row, another player may say "Don't hold the door," in which case the stopper must draw a card.  This must be yelled while the player is cutting the deck, before the play card is flipped over.  However, if the caller fails to say it rudely and obnoxiously, he must also draw a card.
If any betting occurs, a 10% tax shall be paid to the  Creators of elevator.
If time does not allow the game to finish:  Divide the deck so that each player has about the same number of cards.  Each person, in turn, plays a card.  No Taps are required.  When 2 of the same cards are played in a row, the first player who slaps the pile wins the game.
A false Stop results in a 3CP.
If a player uses a word of which the meaning is unknown to another player, he must give them a detailed explanation of the meaning of the word, or take a 3CP.  If he draws a picture, it is only a 1CP.
If anyone plays a card before the previous player Draws / Taps , he shall be given a 3CP, and may be ridiculed without reason by the other players.
Any player who offends another player's "Mama" is subject to a 3CP.
Any player who asks another player if he has a certain card must "Go Fish" if told to do so.  He fishes until he has either fished 5 cards or until he picks up the card he was looking for.
Any player who plays more of the same card than should be in the deck (ex: if 1 deck, then 5 Aces) in one turn shall collect cards from each player until all other players have no more than 2 cards.  If after the collection he has less than 20 cards he shall draw until he does.
Any player who finds it clever to play "54 Pickup*" while either cutting to see who goes first or while stop ping may be called "You Pick 'em Up!" by another player.  In that case, he picks up all cards that landed face up and puts them into his hand.     *If the deck he cuts has less than 54 cards, the same rule applies.
Rule 25 also applies for "Smoke Smoke Fire"
Any player who does not know how to play 54 pickup or Smoke Smoke Fire shall be taught how by any player who wishes to teach him.
If any player is killed during the game, his cards are given to the murderer.  The deceased is declared winner of the game, and the rest of the players play for second place.  If it is a 2 player game, the murderer automatically loses.
If a player uses a piece of heavy machinery (ex: steamroller) to remove another player from the playing area, he must draw 5 cards and apologize.  If he was winning before the offense, he must draw 2 more cards.  If he damages the table, he must buy a new one.  If he damages any card, see Rule 31 .  If the exhaust from the machinery causes a player to cough the offender must draw 1 card per cough.  If vomit, then 2.  If lung cancer, then 5 per person.  If a person is killed in the process, see Rule 28 .
Rule 29 is not the longest rule.
Any player who damages any card of a deck during the game must buy a new deck.
Quoting from a TV show, movie, etc. is allowed.  However, if it can be proven that it is a misquote, the offender takes a 2CP.
If a player uses nuclear armaments against another player, he is assessed a 5CP.  If the cards are vaporized, see  Rule 31 .  If any Goodlisted items are damaged or vaporized, it is a 3CP each.  If any Badlisted items are vaporized, the player may give one card to each player and will be praised with a free lunch at the restaurant of his choice, compliments of the other players in the Elevator Group.  If any other players are vaporized, see Rule 28 .  If the table is vaporized, the offender must buy a new table.  If any player discovers any added appendages on his body caused by nuclear radiation, see Rule 35 .
This is Rule number 34.
If a player grows any extra appendages on his body because of an occurrence during elevator, the offender shall collect 2 cards from the deck and 1 from the affected player per appendage.  If it is an eye in the back of the person's head, the offender shall collect 20% of all money which the affected player collects from "Unsolved Mysteries" or any shows of the like.
Any non- creator who merchandises "Elevator" without permission shall pay 75% of SALES or 80% of PROFITS (whichever is more) to the creators . Or else be subject to legal prosecution due to breach of copyright (or is that implied?)
Any player who delays the game by doing homework will be fined a 1CP per SECOND that he holds up the game.
Any player who activates the fire sprinklers, therefore damaging the deck, shall purchase 2 NEW DECKS for the group.
If a player plays 5 consecutive cards in 1 turn, all opponents must collect 1 card.  If he plays 5 consecutive cards of the same suit, opponents take 2 cards.  If he plays a "Royal Flush" all opponents take 3 cards.  If he has figured out a way to play 13 consecutive cards, the card player is required to get a life.  If all 13 of the same suit, all other players must take their turns beating sense into you.  Only in this case are players exempted from Rule 10 .
Upon completion of a turn, you are to tap once.  People who can keep a beat may tap multiple times.  If a player taps multiple times and can not keep a beat, all opponents may tap once on the offender's forehead as hard as they like, but only with their bare hands.
Any player who so much as suggests playing elevator on an escalator shall be given two cards by each player.
Any player who tries to ascertain the meaning of life, the universe, or everything while playing Elevator shall be told to hitchhike across the galaxy.
If Elevator is played in an elevator, additional rules are as follows:  Draw 1 card per card stepped on by elevator users.  Penalty goes to cardholder.  If the drawpile is stepped on, all players draw one card each.  For each complaint, the moron whose bright idea it was to play on an elevator draws 3 cards.
When playing with a person who controls your grades, salary, food, life, freedom, or transportation, you may collect up to 3 cards from them for no reason in particular.
Any player who must delay the game for usage of the facilities must call "Potty Emergency."  He is given 2 minutes (plus travel time) and is given 1 card for each minute he delays thereafter. See Rule 56 .
Anyone who quotes Badlisted items without mockery or sarcasm shall be assessed a 5CP.
Any player who calls "BS" shall be assessed a 1CP for each card the player whose turn it is at the time plays and or draws, including all penalties.
If a player purposely inflicts penalties on himself to make another player angry through Rule 47 shall be allowed to go about his business.
Anyone who bags on _____ is assessed a _____. Goodlisted Items/3CP; Badlisted Items/Praise from the group; A large person standing adjacent to the player/Black eye.
The meaning of life can be found in a mixture of Quiche, Elevator Cards, Useful Internet Sites, the inner workings of an accordion, the harmonic mixture of bassoons with bagpipes with motor scooters, the mechanism that makes a toaster go bzzejrkjeoiq when you put a piece of toast right back in, the reason for doggie smell, Monosodium Triphosphate, Quantum Singularities, Don Knotts, a cricket that you can find by its sound only, a washing machine that jumps, a mint condition 57 Mustang, the science behind Crystallic Fusion, my car keys, and the battery cover for my portable stereo.  Unfortunately, we are still unable to attain the last two items, and therefore, may never discover the meaning of life.
Any player who creates a TI--(TI82, TI85, etc) game of Elevator that moves too slow and/or does not include ALL rules is fined a 3CP for each game of Elevator he plays until he deletes his copy of it and all copies he has distributed.
Any player who initiates a global thermonuclear war during a game of Elevator is assessed a 1CP per building damaged in the USA, plus a 1CP per minute of delay, and a 1CP for every 10 decibels over 100 heard in the playing area.  Also, see Rule 33 , exempting first sentence unless war was initiated during another player, and also see Rule 35 .
Any player who spills radioactive waste in the playing area which causes extra appendage growth, please see Rule 35 .
To the best of our knowledge, the FBI has never investigated the copying of video tapes.
Any player who declares his love for any of the following: Badlist ed items, AOL's busy signals or lack thereof, the "MCI SMILEY" [ : - ) ], "Floodgate," SPAM (ads or junkmail) shall automatically win a free trip to the mental institution of his choice.  See Rule 56 .
Exceptions can be made on rare occasions to some rules with the approval of the creators .
A monetary donation greatly increases the chances of the success of Rule 56 .
If the execution of any rule is not permitted by law or other predominating rule in the area of play, please notify the creators immediately so changes and/or exceptions can be made.
Any player who delays the game to prepare or send a donation to the creators will be assessed no penalty, no matter what the situation.
If a frustrated player pulls out a gun and shoots another player during the game, he must draw 3 cards per bullet fired.  If the player shot at is wearing a bullet-proof vest, the shooter is only obligated to draw 1 card per shot.  Also See: 10 , 28 .
If any bodily fluid (except sweat) comes in contact with any of the cards, the offender must pay for a new deck of cards, whether or not the card was actually permanently damaged.
Any player who calls "Speed" instead of "Ground Floor" shall allow all other players to ridicule him for a maximum of 5 minutes, as well as take one card from each of them.
63 is the number that I (Alex) most commonly choose when picking a number from 1 to 100.  I also pick 2 and 47
Any player who smokes while playing shall collect 1 card from each player, every time he breathes out smoke.  He also collects 1 card from each player that coughs, per cough.
If a player decapitates another player, he takes the cards of the decapitated player.  Also see rules 10 and 28 .  If the decapitated player bleeds, see 61 .
Did you know that many people do not like this number?
If a player punches another player, who then gets a black eye or bloody nose , he shall draw 3 cards for lack of creativity.
If you pick a number from 1 to 10, multiply it by 9, add the digits together, subtract 5, get the letter that corresponds with that number, pick a state of the USA that starts with that letter, pick an animal (more than 5 letters long) that starts with the 2nd letter of the state, and choose a one word color that starts with the 2nd letter of the animal, you will be confused.  After all, it would be strange to see a Lavender Elephant in Delaware.
You Pervert.
Any player who analyzes mathematical probabilities in Elevator shall be given a 5CP.
Players are free to make any sound effects they wish on their own turn.  However, if during someone else's turn, a player says "Ding," trying to add to the authenticity of an "Elevator," he shall be squished between 2 people.  After all, we should follow through in making Elevator as realistic as possible, since that is what the person wants.  However, use caution, or you will need to refer to rule 10 .
Any ravenous player who consumes a deck, card, or portion thereof, he shall be referred to Rule 31. If the offending player is rich, he shall purchase a "Gold Edition" deck for the group at the amazingly low price of $499.99
Any player who gives another player a paper cut must either: a)wash it, clean it, kiss it, and put a band-aid on it. OR b)take a 2CP.
In close games, some people might prefer 73 a.
Any player who incorrectly does the cup game with the deck during a Stop shall take a 3CP and learn to do it correctly.
Any player who rips another player's hair out must purchase a good wig/toupee for the other player.
If the offended player in 76 refuses to wear the wig because he is male and it is a ladies' wig or vice versa, or because it is composed of a color not found in nature, the player who purchased the wig is required to buy the other player one to his liking, and wear the wig throughout the remainder of the game.
Any player who finds it clever to turn off the "elevator lights" shall be fined 3 cards, plus 1 card for every minute that passes before they are turned back on.  It is permissible for other players to try to keep the offender from turning the lights back on, but be cautious of rule 10 .
The secret to winning Elevator can be easily obtained by sending US$999.99 to the creators .
If aliens from another galaxy abduct you during a game of elevator, which causes damage to the deck, they must pay with whatever means necessary for a new deck of cards, as soon as the return trip to Earth is made.  If they ever play elevator, they shall receive a 5CP per game before the new deck is bought.  If they are from any planet in the solar system of earth, it will only be a 3CP because we favor locals.
If any player rips an Elevator card in half during a game, he shall buy a new deck of cards for the group and allow himself to be slapped upside the head by another player of his choice. If he did not completely rip it in half, only Rule 31 applies. Also see Rule 88.
If any player devises a way to build a realistic-looking scale model of an elevator with a deck of cards, other players should volunteer to take a card or two from his hand in appreciation for this work of art.  However, if he: a)uses glue; b)folds a card, or c)tears a card   in the process, he shall purchase a new deck and COLLECT a card or two from each player.
If any player recites decimals of pi, he shall give away one card to the pile for every 100 decimals he recites, until he stops or has 2 cards left. However, as soon as he is finished, he shall be ejected from the game and required to get a life.
Win the game by ridding yourself of all your Elevator cards. When you have reached your last card and can play it, shout "Ground Floor," while simultaneously placing that card face down on top of the last played card. Ground floor may be called as part of a set of cards (It doesn't need to be the sole purpose of a turn, though it can be).
size=4> No player is allowed to point out that Rule 40 is simply a redundant repetition of Rule 5.
No player is allowed to point out that the phrase "redundant repetition" is, in and of itself, redundant.
When a player calls "ground floor," he does so by placing the last card upside-down, per Rule 84. As elevator is a game of trust, other players are assumed to trust that the player really did play the card he claimed to. In tournament games of elevator, players may challenge the validity of the upside-down card. In such cases, a challenge is announced by shouting "BS!" and the card flipped right-side-up. If the card was legitimately played, the challenger not only loses the current game, but the next game as well, for not trusting his fellow player. If it was illegitimate, the offender shall lose the current game and the tournament proceeds as usual. In non-tournament play, the same challenge may be made. In this case, if the card was legitimately played, the challenger must pay the winner $5 (subject to Rule 17 fees). If it was illegitimately played, the offender loses the game. Only in this case is a player exempt from Rule 47
If a player rips a card in a perfect iscosoles triange, rule 31 still applies, but he may give away 3 cards to any player. If the triangle is not a perfect iscosoles, the player will collect 3 cards from EACH player. Players may request to verify the validity of the isosceles triangle with a vernier caliper. (See Rule 89)
If situations require, and nobody had the foresight to have a vernier caliper on hand, the ripped card that is now a triangle shall be ruled a perfect isosceles.
Anyone who sings the Los Alamitos High School fight song correctly may give away 2 cards. If the player sings it incorrectly, and/or out of key, he must draw 2 cards.
Anyone who sings the LAHS fight song more than once per game shall be assessed a 4 card penalty per chorus for causing memories of the dreadful pep rallies.
Anyone who sings the Los Alamitos High School Alma Mater incurs a 3CP, and also must be cautious of boring people to death, in which case Rule 10 applies.
In order to keep the game in modern times, the creators ( or the creators' descendants, or those who otherwise inherit the rights to Elevator) reserve the right to publish new Goodlists and Badlists. When this is done, all players of Elevator MUST switch over to the new list.
Any player who has read this far into the rules is entitled to a bonus in the game.  For specific card value, see rule 34 .