You don't know how to play Mao?

You don't know anyone who might possibly know how to play?

Very well, here are the full rules of the version of Mao I play.

The version of Mao you might have learned from a friend, had you not read this page, may have been more interesting.

Your loss, I suppose.

Mao: A card game for 3 or more players, best with 6 or more

Equipment: One deck of cards per four or so players; less experienced players may need more, more experienced players can do with less.

Setup: All players should sit in a circle around a table or on the floor, so that they can all reach the center of the playing surface and, without too much trouble, the spaces in front of the other players.
Deal 7 cards to each person and place the rest of the deck face down in the center of the playing surface. Take the top card off the deck and place it face up next to the deck.

Object:

A player wins a game of Mao when he has run out of cards.

The object of Mao, as it turns out, is much more interesting than the simple pursuit of running out of cards

Rules:

One person is designated to start play. It will be his turn at the start of the game, with play oriented clockwise. When his turn is finished, it will be the next person's turn.

During your turn, there are a number of things you can do, generally including: playing a card, drawing a card if you cannot play one.

Talking:

There is no talking during play of Mao, except that dictated by gameplay. If someone wishes to talk, he must say "Point of Order", at which point play stops, all players set down their cards, and talking may commence. Talking ceases and play resumes when a player calls "End Point".

FOLLOWING are the SECRET rules of Mao. DO NOT READ ON UNLESS NOBODY IN YOUR GROUP KNOWS HOW TO PLAY, OR UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT TO.

You have been warned

DO NOT TELL PEOPLE THESE FOLLOWING RULES OF MAO. Mao is learned through trial and error, and only if nobody knows how to play should anyone look up the rules. Discrepancies about rules should be resolved by the members of that particular Mao session.

Gameplay:

Cards are played upon the face-up pile on the table. The card that is played must share a face value (A,2,3, etc.) or suit with the card it is played on top of. Each player, when it is his turn, must a) play one valid card upon the face-up pile, or b) take a card from the top of the face-down draw pile, or c) perform some other action dictated by a special rule

There are a great many rules to Mao. Persons who know these rules must enforce them. When a rule is broken, the rulebreaker is given a 1-card penalty (unless the rule specifies otherwise), as well as a terse verbal description of the reason for the penalty.

Things that must be said:

When the following cards are played, the person who plays them must say something. If a card falls into more than one of these categories, the player must say more than one thing (in no particular order, unless a rule specifies).

Spades: "X of Spades" where X is the card played, e.g. "3 of Spades"

2: "There is a God"

Queen: "Hail to the Chairwoman"

King: "Hail to the Chairman"

Nonstandard - 6: "Bow to the Hue" (I played with this rule until the person who taught me Mao informed me that it wasn't a standard rule to begin with and everyone agreed it should be discarded)

7: The 7 card is special. It is the "Have a Nice Day" card. If a player plays a 7 (validly), he must say "Have a Nice Day". The next player must then take two cards, an action which counts as his turn. OR, if the next player also has a 7, he may play it and say "Have a VERY Nice Day", at which point the next player after that must draw four cards, and so on. "Very"s can be added repeatedly and cumulatively, until the chain is broken by someone actually "Having" the nice day (taking the cards). E.g.: 3 players consecutively play 7's, the third one saying "Have a VERY VERY nice day"; the next player has no 7, so he "has" a very very nice day by drawing 6 cards.

Other special cards:

Ace: The ace acts like a "skip" card -- when it is played, the person who would normally play next is skipped, and play proceeds with the player after him.

8: The 8 is a reverse card. When played, the flow switches from clockwise to counterclockwise or vice versa. E.g. player A plays a 4, player B plays a 3, player C plays an 8, it is now player B's turn again, followed by player A, etc.

2: In addition to saying "There is a God", playing a 2 means the person who plays it MUST play again. (if he is unable, he must draw a card to end his turn)

When a player plays a card so that he only has 1 card left, he must say "Mao".

Doubles

When playing with more than one deck (as Mao is usually played), it is likely for someone to play a card, at which time he or another player might hold an identical card (suit and value) in his hand. There are four ways this situation may be dealth with. One way should be decided upon by the person(s) who already know how to play Mao, and the rule chosen shall be consistent throughout all games of play...

No Doubles: Doubles are treated as any card. You may not play a card out of turn, even if it is a double.

Sane Doubles: When a double is played, players must perform any rule-necessitated actions as if they had played the card they doubled. Their card, however, does not count incrementally (e.g. it can't add a VERY to a nice day if it's a 7). If a double could count as part/all of a player's turn, it DOES, period, and all actions DO count (and if a 7 it WOULD be a "very")

Silent Doubles: Like sane doubles, but no vocalizations/actions if it doesn't count as your turn. Note that if it CAN count as your turn, it DOES, as in Sane Doubles

Utter Chaos (tried the last time I played): Not for the faint of heart. Play as Sane Doubles, except that doubles may or may not count as your turn, up to the discretion of whomever may claim it. Permutations of what has actually happened are cancelled as gameplay occurs. For example, the person before you plays a 3 of clubs. Then you play a 3 of clubs. Whether or not it counts as a double is determined by the next card played -- if you play, for example, a 4 of clubs, then your 3 was a double. If, instead, the next player in line jumped in with a 9 of clubs, it became his turn. If the next player in line jumped in with ANOTHER 3 of clubs, it could be any of 3 people's turns. Chaos and aggravation quickly ensue (especially if 2's, 8's or Aces are involved), as Mao players generally don't like tracking binary trees in their heads.

Penalties are assessed for the following... what to say is denoted in [brackets]. Whenever a rule is broken, the person who notices that a rule is broken takes a card from the top of the face-down pile, places it in front of the offender, and gives an explanation.

Talking: When a player talks, outside of a point of order, and the talking is not necessitated by the game: 1 card ["Talking"].

Improperly Saying something the game requires you to say: See topic on "Talking".

Failure to say something the game requires you to say: 1 card, ["Failure to say _____"]; Note that after the penalty is assessed, the player must STILL say it, or face another penalty for the same reason.

Playing out of Turn: 1 card, ["Playing out of turn"]; The card this player played is returned to him in addition to the penalty. Note that if another player has not finished saying everything he has to say, it is still his turn, and anyone else would be playing out of turn at this point.

Playing a card that is not allowed during one's turn: 1 card ["Playing a stupid card"]; The card this player played is returned to him in addition to the penalty, and it is still his turn.

Failure to take cards when you are supposed to have a nice day: 1 card ["Failure to have a [Very...] nice day"]; The nice day must still be had in addition to the penalty.

Delaying the game, by a reasonable amount of time (15 seconds or so): 1 card ["Failure to continue play"]; This usually happens because the person whose turn it is isn't aware of this fact.

Touching cards during a point of order: 1 card ["Touching cards"]; Note that the player assessing the penalty may touch the card he is giving to the offender, but the offender may NOT touch even this new card until the point of order ends.

Failure to say "Mao" when you only have one card left: 4 cards ["Failure to say Mao"]

Calling something on someone when a rule was not broken: 1 card ["Bad call"].

Failure to enforce your own @#$% rule: 2 cards ["Failure to penalize for ____"]. We're on the honor system, so you may have to call yourself on this until people figure your rule out. The person you should have been penalized isn't penalized, because it's YOUR fault now.

Persons who know the rules shall also call penalties on themselves, when applicable, so as to not drive the other players more insane than necessary.

NOTE: Players may take cards from the top of the face-down pile whenever they like (there is no penalty for it).
If a player takes a card from the deck on his turn, that action takes the place of his playing a card and ends his turn (provided no rule precludes this).
It is common for new players to take cards from the top of the deck, in hopes that it was their turn, trying to avoid a penalty. If it WAS their turn, good for them. If it wasn't, they just took a card for the fun of it.

Winning: When a player wins a round of Mao (runs out of cards), he is allowed to make up a new rule. The rule can be, literally, anything, but it should be taken into consideration that you DO want these people to keep playing with you. (Rules like "I automatically win" or "Anyone named John gets punched in the face when a 3 is played" are generally thought to be in bad taste). The person who makes up the new rule shall enforce that rule throughout the duration of the rest of the games the group plays together. He should also be honest and give himself a penalty if he fails to assess a penalty on someone else.

Enjoy!

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